The 2015 squash season started out promising. My first match
I subbed for the Men’s Level 1 team and played a tough 5 games against a very
skilled opponent. I lost, but it was close and I played pretty good.
The following week, I played my first league match at Level
2 against another top player and I was shocked that I was able to compete as
Craig is a more skilled and fitter player than me. I went point for point with
Craig in the first, but the pace was just too much and I slowed down enough for
him to run away with it at 9-9, losing 15-9. The second game I told myself I
couldn’t beat him at the back so I had to step up and volley and force him to
try and hit it past me, I won 15-4. The next game was more of the same, but I
was getting gased and I couldn’t tell if he was getting tired. I could feel my
strategy of volleying short deteriorating as I was losing half a step and he
was getting the ball past me more, I won with a couple lucky nicks 15-12, but
the momentum was clearly swinging back into his favour. The fourth game, he
picked up the pace and I was just hanging on, I lost my drive to step up and
volley and he was burying me in the back and I was forced to lift the ball and
wasn’t applying any pressure but I was fortunate to keep rallies going long
enough that I could see he was getting tired too. He won 15-13 and I could see
that both of us were struggling. The fifth game was purely mental, rallies were
short and both of us were trying to end points too quickly, there was a lot of
over hitting and loose balls. I got to 14 first and on match ball I hit a loose
ball into the front backhand corner, he got on it early, I had pretty much
given up and he smashed it right into the tin. I was shocked, but came away
with the win.
The following week, I played the UofC tournament and felt
the expectation to win my division. I considered my toughest match to be my
first round against Todd. I had never beaten Todd and I was determined to play
as good as I could. Every game was close but I won 3-0.
Reflecting back on these 2 wins, I really had no expectation
to win, my focus was to play as good as I could and give these guys a match and
have a fun… sounds cliché, but these were two of the most fun matches I ever
played. I moved well, swung smoothly and didn’t worry about the outcome.
The match I played next I tried really hard to have fun, but
started to feel that my opponent was playing balls on the double bounce and
fishing for lets/strokes. It took away from the enjoyment of the game and I
found myself getting angry and spending way too much energy trying to look like
I wasn’t angry. Holding it in was sapping my energy and concentration. That
match went 5 and I lost badly in the 5th. This may have been the
start of my current slump.
I went on to play for 3rd place against one of my
training partners, but it was not a friendly match with lots of pushing and
complaining. I hated being on court and I could see that he was more frustrated
than I was. I really just tried to get thru it and won 3-1. I played well, but
it didn’t feel nice as my opponent was a poor sport, calling my ball down,
fishing for strokes and complaining about balls he hit out of bounds.
Next league match was against someone I absolutely despise
playing against. He is big, hits hard and low and initiates unnecesary contact,
it’s a very physical game against this guy and I really don’t enjoy it. It
brings out the worst in me. It doesn’t help when the referee doesn’t understand
how to call a stroke on someone who hits the ball back at himself or a no let
when they run into you and have no chance at getting to the ball. I lost in 4
and was mentally exhausted for days after this one. I really felt that with an
informed referee that a lot of this could be avoided. Another loss to feed the slump, the worst
part is the negative attitude that I can feel growing.
Subbed for level 3 the following week and played a guy I
hadn’t beaten before, but felt that I should win. It was right after thanksgiving
so I was feeling a sluggish and hoped he was feeling it too. I was striking the
ball well, but moving a slow and getting tired. I really did feel the pressure
to win as I was subbing down and started getting tight, making poor decisions, and
I kept thinking about losing. It was a mentally draining match in that I
couldn’t focus on just playing. I lost again in 5 and was so physically and
mentally drained afterwards I could barely think.
Next week, I had another shot at the first opponent I played
this year. I was excited, I felt great going in, but played terrible, I was
over excited. I couldn’t place the ball tight or deep, I was behind on every
point and struggled to apply any pressure. I got worked, scores were close but
lost 3-0. Definitely psyched myself out in this one, I was trying way too hard,
lost my composure and turned into a bash and dasher. Tried to tell myself that
my opponent just played way too good, but I can see that my court movement and
swing become tight and I overcompensate by doing all the wrong things.
Following week was more of the same. I went in thinking I
should win, but I’m playing badly so I’ll probly lose. It was an awful mindset
to be in, because I could feel it draining me before the match even started.
Rallies were short, and opponent bashed the shit out of the ball and I was not
hitting well and was moving slow. Lost 3-1 and came off court frustrated with
my performance.
OK, so this leads up to the whole point of this… I was in a
slump and I didn’t know what to do to get out of it.
Here’s what I came up with…
The impossible happens every day and becomes more possible
with what might seem like a very small step. The end might not be within sight
in the beginning, the road is long and there are wrong turns, detours, traps
and obstacles along the way. But the road to impossible is not never ending and
the road is only as challenging as you perceive it to be. If the road beats you
down, it’s because you let it. If the road exhausts you, demoralizes you,
brings you to the brink of insanity, it’s because the road is exactly what you
need it to be to reach the impossible. My impossible is to be an open level squash
player. Squash includes fitness, racket skill, mental toughness and devotion.
So my road to impossible must condition me to improve all of those things. The
road will tear me apart so that I can build myself back up stronger. The road
for me can end at anytime, and there have been times where I have quit, I’ve
stopped pursing the impossible, only to start again, renewed. But recently I’ve
realized that the road to impossible can be enjoyed. It can be more than a
gruelling day to day that may or may not change. I’ve chosen to enjoy my road,
to push myself so that the benefits are immediate. To appreciate the time I
have on the road, the training, the match play, the company of the people who
are travelling the road with me. There are no more expectations and no more
negative consequences. Whether I’m training or playing a match, it’s all the
same now, trusting in my skills, my body. I cannot rely on anyone else to coach
me, I must start to be my own coach, a super positive coach who pumps up my
tires and allows me to make mistakes and constantly gives me positive feedback.
Anyhow, people have suggested I get a sport psychologist,
but I don’t need anyone to tell me that I am awful to myself, I’m negative and
my attitude stinks. Being positive is the toughest thing to do when you feel
like everything is going wrong. Remembering that good decisions are made when
your mind is thinking positively, your body responds when your mind is in a
positive mindset. So how do I get myself to be more positive. That’s a question
that I think is very individual. But thinking about things that make you happy
is a good start. Like Julie Andrews in the sound of music, think a few of your
favorite things and then it wont feel so bad.
Almost immediately after writing the first half of this
post, I took action. Discussed with my coach, really put together a plan to
change what I do on court, physically and mentally. Step 1 was do the
fundamentals better. For me, that starts with court movement and racket
preparation.
Training a few days later, was all about racket preparation.
Exaggerating my racket prep to simulate doing a hadoken from Street fighter,
looking to have my racket prep so ready that I could volley everything. The
thought of racket prep has changed for me, because thinking racket prep was not
enough, it brought my racket up to where I thought was enough, the thought of
hadoken, brings my racket back to where I think a hadoken would start. The
result is my racket is way more ready, it feels excessive, but the reality is
that now I’m ready. The consistency is building, but there is still a lot of
effort once I’m under pressure. But the result is there, in my match the next
week, it took a bit to get going, losing the first game 5-15. But once I
figured out how to move forward with my racket ready, I was able to control my
re-drops and throw in great drives off loose balls. Footwork forwards was ok, but
I need to bend more in my legs and less from the upper part of my waist. The
following 3 games were close, but I was able to be consistent enough to squeak
out the second game and run away in the third and fourth games with my fitness.
Racket prep gives me precious time, time to see the ball, time to make the
right decisions and time to execute a better shot.
More training on racket preparation is key to building my
skill set and elevating my game. I felt like I’ve hit a plateau the last few
years but now I know that I can still improve. Training sessions have been
mainly focused on improving racket prep and conditioning my footwork movement
to the front court. I feel like I’m able to hit a much better ball lately and I
need to play more with this hadoken mindset so that my racket is ready. My most
recent match put me up against a player who was coming off a really big win
against an opponent I had lost to previously. I was nervous in warmup, playing
tall and lanky hard hitters is always tough. At the start of the first game, I
couldn’t believe how well I was hitting the ball. My opponent didn’t stand a
chance as I played precise shots that forced him to hit loose and tactically I
was able to keep him off balance. The second game was more of the same and I could
feel his energy dropping. In the third, I tried to finish him off too quickly,
making several mistakes early on. I still felt confident, coming back from
14-10 down to lose 16-14, but the momentum was clearly on my side and I won the
fourth 15-2.
More solo hitting and I can see that racket prep is allowing
me to really lead my swing with the butt end of my handle and control the
direction of the ball with more precision and less effort. I’ve got a
tournament this weekend and I am seeded number 1, my focus will be on early
racket prep and efficient court movement. Tactically, my basic game plan is
always the same. Starts with hitting a tight shot, then start to bury my
opponent behind me with tight length, step up to pick off anything loose with a
volley and be ready for the loose short ball to get on it early, and either
hold for a hard length or take it early for the re-drop. Really loose shots,
look to step back and open up the court and play the cut off boast or hard
cross court. But again, my focus must be on racket prep, it’s still too early
in my training to just swing, the muscle memory will eventually get there, but
I have to continue to exaggerate my hadoken so that it will become engrained in
my swing.
There are a couple people that I have been coaching lately
also, and it has become so obvious to me now how poor most people’s racket
preparation is. It has been awesome for me as I get to practice my racket prep
while helping them improve as well. The next steps for me will be to increase the
pressure of my training so that I can sustain a great hadoken while sprinting
around the court and getting exhausted.
I guess the gist of this post, is that several weeks ago, I
was playing well, feeling fit, but not winning. Losing 5 matches in a row is
demoralizing and it becomes inherently more difficult to find the motivation to
train and even play a match. I was lost and frustrated because I didn’t know if
I would ever win another match. I was agitated by my opponents behaviour on
court and considered just not caring anymore whether I won or lost, or played
well… it was becoming blah.
The change came from my coach, he never said it directly,
but he helped me to focus on the things that I could change. He addressed how I
deal with what my opponents do, people’s behaviour on court is not something I
should be looking to waste my energy on, it shouldn’t be something I lose my
focus over. The truth is, I will avoid playing people I don’t want to hit with.
It’s just not fun for me and that’s something I can control. The other things I
can control are my racket preparation and my footwork, 2 things that I am
currently working to improve. The focus is not on winning or fighting or
anything other than playing better squash… the results are merely an indication
of how much more I need to train.
