Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Shut Up Already

Neurolinguistic Programming. Watch body language and remember that a great deal of communication is unspoken. If the person you are communicating with continually turns away, resumes a task, sighs, searches the sky or does any other telltale signs indicating boredom, realize that you may be talking too much. It isn't so much that they don't care (although they probably don't), you might just be beating a dead horse...but more likely they don't care.

For gods sake...open your ears and close your mouth! Remember that true conversations occur when two or more people interactively communicate. That means you'll have to periodically shut your pie hole and let other people speak.

If, while someone else is speaking, you find yourself already formulating your next response (instead of actually listening), you're not doing it right. Seriously, people probably hate talking to you.

Pause after being spoken to and replay what was said with your inner voice. Hear what your partner has to say and then think about how to respond. Or run the risk of having people stop talking to you.

Strive to let them finish! Interrupting people isn't merely poor communication, it is rude, disrespectful and freakin' annoying. You might think you know where the conversation is going, but you can't be sure and they can surprise you, so wait until they finish what they're saying and don't feel compelled to always have to say something.

Introverts think, then speak and extroverts speak to think. Whichever you are, that's OK. But if you're an extrovert working something out by talking through it, ask yourself if you need an audience! If your not sure... the answer in NO.

In today's society, talking to yourself is considered socially acceptable. So try going off to talk things out on your own. Better yet, try to solve problems with internal monologue. Start small, it may take some getting used, but take comfort in the fact that nobody really cares what you have to say...except you.


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